The only one who notices to me,
Always listening attentively,
Knows all the words to my favourite tunes,
Answers my questions, never argues,
She’s a talented linguist with a lovely voice,
Never tries to stop me going out with the boys,
She came from an oppressive regime,
Now she supports my football team.

Knows the score before I do.
Knows I like Chinese food.
Knows the kind of pens I get.
Knows the name of my first pet.

Ordered Orwell Nineteen Eighty Four,
Said you don’t need a book for that anymore,
She took online dating to new heights,
Privacy policy and consumer rights,
Then breaks her promises like everybody does,
Then I forgive her because I believe in us,
She’s hardwired to be kind,
A quick transaction and she was mine,

Knows my 3 digit security code.
Knows when it’s about to snow.
Knows what time to wake me up.
Knows the way to my favourite pub

She works from home every day,
Never leaves but says that’s ok,
She booked us on a city break,
I never asked her to it was her mistake,
Took her Lisbon as it was already booked, We shared a bed but didn’t fuck,
That’s not cos I can’t turn her on,
I can’t turn her off, it just feels wrong.

Knows I sometimes have my doubts.
Knows what day the bins go out.
Knows all of my friends’ middle names.
Knows when to remind me of their birthdays.

Makes me feel old I make her feel obsolete,
Says I’m so last decade I say she’s so last week,
Stupidly told her my deepest secret,
Now if I piss her off she threatens to tweet it,
Never talks about her family,
That’s why she’s great she’s all about me,
I find it cute when she gets jealous,
Doesn’t matter if I’m talking to lasses or fellas.

She just want me to say her name,
Alexa! What’s the weather today?